I would like you to view your trauma problem as a living monster dwelling in your flesh feeding itself off your painful past memories.
As a result, this monster is feeding itself off your mental, emotional, and physical energy, which is draining you.
That’s why you often feel wasted, empty, terrified, disturbed, and vulnerable during and after a session of intense trauma.
This monster disrupts the core of your being when deploying its sharp claws within, thus you can literally feel something like a sharp instrument tearing you apart, particularly in the area of your heart, which turns into the center point of the pain.
These painful memories are nothing more than live scenes of yourself being abused, beaten, molested, humiliated, brutalized, rejected, or raped recorded as mental films into your memory bank.
These films can be played back over and over into your consciousness with great clarity which can have huge implications for your mental and emotional state of being.
In these films, you have your aggressor, abuser, or offender attacking you mercilessly and repeatedly.
You have yourself being defenseless and powerless having to endure the horror of these traumatic events.
Then you have the terrible feeling of being victimized that came over you as a result.
These trauma memories are registered in the emotional, instinctive, and unconscious part of yourself, which make them so tough to deal with.
The very area into which they are registered is also highly sensitive, which makes them so painful.
To shed some light on what I said early on.
- Emotional means they can be recalled quite easily and vividly just as if it has just happened. The feeling being generated is instantaneous.
- Instinctive means they can be triggered externally by the realities of the 5 senses that you are exposed to, particularly certain type of noises, sounds, or words related to what you experienced. They can also be triggered internally by means of thoughts that come out of nowhere.
- Unconscious means that you don’t get conscious or voluntary access to that part to subdue the memories that are contained within by an instant act of the will. This plays a central role in your ongoing struggles with this issue.
That’s why you can’t make this problem go away at will as you would want to.
I’m sure that you’ve reached a point in your life where you feel that the only way you can feel normal is to have these traumatic memories deleted completely in your mind, so that they don’t continue to harass you.
Unfortunately, you cannot delete these terrifying memories to solve this problem once for all as wished.
Autonomous State Of That Beast
Therefore, this monster living inside of you has reached an autonomous state which gives it the ability to manifest itself automatically in you without your own conscious efforts.
You don’t have to consciously think about what you went through in order for these memories to aggressively show up and take over your mind.
They can be triggered by anything related to a component being part of these memories.
This monster has become untamable. And this is where you are having a difficult time trying to take back control of your mental and emotional state of being.
Intrusive thoughts triggering horrific feelings are running wild in the background of your mind against your own will.
These thoughts and feelings feeding off on each other are quite stubborn by nature, they don’t go away quickly when they are in manifestation.
They are stuck into your mental, emotional, and physical state of being.
Oftentimes, you literally feel yourself being pounded or stabbed from within.
You can sense your aggressor lunging at you based on these memories.
In other words, you can feel that person acting out ruthlessly against you continually on the ground of what happened through these memories.
This Monster Must Be Killed
This monster being representative of your trauma issue feeding itself off these painful memories through which the abuses continue to happen mentally, which in turn affect you both emotionally and physically must be put to death by the power of God.
This monster stirring up your flesh is nothing more than a parasite.
That should become your main prayer point as you’re tackling this issue.
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